Stuff and that.

Stuff. And yeah. That

Category: Fashion police

Dining Room Diaries – Day Five

Yes, I know I talked about a week last time I wrote – but this is officially the fifth day of looking out the window from my dining room. Today is also the day the kids finished school. For the holidays. Allegedly. Today is also the day my Cleaning Fairy popped us on hold for the duration, and the day my Pilates class got cancelled.

I’m a bit sad.

On the positive side, the Ironing Fairy picked up, and while it might be for the last time, at least I will have smooth clothes for the next week or two. Which brings me to tonight’s topic of discussion.

What does one wear to work when work is the dining room table?

Now, in the past, I’ve always dressed for work to work from home. Not full on fancy with tights and face on and all, but I am dressed in work clothes, and a proper shirt and my hair is dried and I look professional. But this time, dressing properly only lasted til Wednesday. I was in shorts and t-shirt on Thursday and Friday. I’m still trying to work out a routine where I can get at least one decent walk in before I start work; eat a sensible breakfast, do a tiny bit of housework, and still “get to work” at 9am. Sounds easy, but yeah, still getting kids up and getting side tracked by The Shiny… But bloody hell, getting dressed is becoming an exercise in futility. (Also, sadness impacts upon my sartorial decision making. Perhaps I need a kaftan. Or a mu mu?)

Before the world stopped yesterday evening, I went for breakfast with ma homies. I have been having breakfast once a month with a bunch of girlfriends for 16 years. It’s a bit of a habit. Anyway, we went out for breakfast, did the social distancing thing, then I ran a couple of errands… I walked past Peter Alexander – or is it the “Working from Home Uniform Shop”? I do like my pajamies. But if I wear them all day, what would I change into when I finish work for the day?

It’s also starting to get a bit cooler… I had to put the heater on this morning. So, does that mean trackies are appropriate for work? They’re more formal than pjs, and I can still downgrade to pjs when I finish work? And they’re definitely more formal than the exercise tight? Jeans suck after a while. They dig and they poke and they’re singularly unpleasant to sit around in for hours at a time.

Of course, I still have the outstanding issue of no appropriate work trousers that I may have mentioned previously. I was planning to get some made in time for winter – but that’s not going to happen now. How can one have one’s inner leg measured whilst leaving an acceptably social distance? Once these shenanigans abate, I will be hastening rather swiftly into the trouser making establishment to remedy this situation; however, in the mean time… I have no fucking warm pants.

Four weeks at home with no pants. I’m only going to be video conferencing. Who will know, gentle reader, who will know.

Kon Maudy v the wardrobe

Of course you are all desperate to know about my clothes situation and my struggle with “nothing to wear”. A dive into my wardrobe revealed that, contrary to popular belief, I have quite a lot of clothes. I have maybe six pairs of trousers, two winter weight skirts (plus a couple of lighter ones) and a ridiculous number of shirts. Possibly thirty. That’s a LOT of shirts. That’s just my long sleeved ones, I only have one short sleeved shirt, and I think I have five sleeveless ones, plus a heap of plain cotton t-shirts that I wear all through summer. So, I’ve come up with a couple of “rules” to go along with this wardrobe deep dive investigation:

  1. I must wear every single (winter/cold weather appropriate) thing in my wardrobe at least once.
  2. It’s ok if I don’t wear warm weather clothes because it’s actually fucking freezing at the moment.
  3. I am not allowed to buy anything new until I have worn every single item in my wardrobe at least once.
  4. (Item two does not include under garments. And I am allowed to buy more socks)
  5. I am not allowed to re-wear a shirt until I have worn every single one.

So, after a couple or so weeks, how am I getting along? Have I resorted to public nudity? Have I binned the lot?

I have worn ALL my pants, two woolen skirts and I think about 20 ish shirts. I’ve also worn most of my knits, and all of my shoes. Plus, I’ve worn a few warmer weather items because Victorian weather is broken.

So far, I have culled one pair of trousers, and the jury is out on another two pairs. And, I’ve culled three long sleeved shirts. I am down to maybe six shirts that I haven’t worn yet, and the decision about which one to wear is getting harder and harder! I’ve worn all both my winter skirts, and most of my cardigans/jumpers.

The pants that went – They are probably the best looking pants I own, they’re a great length, flattering cut etc etc. BUT (there’s always one of those) they have the most ridiculously pissy little belt that I need to wear because otherwise they chafe awkwardly (a very solid crotch seam v an unfortunate bicycle related injury. Ahem.) The fabric has *no* give – which is not ace when one spends one’s day sitting on one’s arse. And it has the weirdest sort of three dimensional texture. Don’t love them. At all. I re-homed them.

The shirts were all quite nice white based and patterned oxford cloth shirts, but they all have weird stains and are all a bit tired and jaded for work. I think they’re all at least five years old, so probably have done their duty. Plus, I’d just recently bought three new shirts. (This explains why I’m not to buy anything else!!!) (Although socks don’t count. Obvs.) There is one shirt I think I really don’t like (the fabric is coarse) and there are three more that are older than the white ones I culled, and have seen better days.

The two pairs of pants I don’t know if I feel the love for are both wine infused online purchases. They are both simultaneously too long and too short at the same time. I am tallish*. I bought them from an overseas website that has tall people clothes, the plus side being they actually cut the seat properly so they’re not just “whack 5cm onto the hem and call it tall” pants, and the knee is in the right place, not mid way up my thigh. BUT, when I was selecting the size, I’ve picked really really tall instead of just a bit tall so, these pants are too short to be full length and too long to be 7/8 which is what they’re supposed to be. Awkward. I will either take them up or donate them.

Some of my shirts are – well. I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought them. Okay, I do know what I was thinking when I bought them. I tend to go up a size because I have broad shoulders and long arms. Unfortunately, that means I have more than a couple of shirts that are ridiculously big on me while fitting appropriately in the sleeve department. I have to decide what I think about that.

Shoes are a thing as well. Apparently, I have weirdly sized feet. I am between a 9 and a nine and a half, but for some reason, shoe shops around here don’t like to do the half size once you get over a size nine. This gives me the option of a nine which is painfully tight, and a ten which is ridiculously loose. Buying numerous insoles to make a ten fit a nine and a half is annoying.

I currently have three pairs of “work” shoes – two pairs of Rollie Nation Derby Punch (navy and tan), and a pair of NancyBird Mary-Janes (chocolate brown). And my sneakers, which I am currently wearing because I can’t be bothered. They are black. I have issues with ‘nude’ shoes. And I have issues with my tan Rollies because of their perceived nudity. They’re not actually nude. They are sand. Or tan. They look perfectly fine with just about everything I wear them with. (They are in my bag. This may also be contributing to today’s sneaker wearing.)

There is a pair of nice boots languishing in my wardrobe. Very nice boots indeed. They are size ten, so they are slightly too big. I get hot feet, so I don’t like wearing socks with them (which makes them fit), plus, lugging them to work won’t make me cheery. They might have to go out for adoption. Although I should wear them once first. To be sure.

I work in a dubiously heated office that varies from the Sahara at midday to Greenland in mid-winter, often on the same day. Also, I am a lady of a certain age and subject to Tropical Moments. Cardigans are my friend. However, I also walk to and from work in the cooler parts of the day, so jumpers are also my friend. I don’t hate any of my knits to be honest. I have a couple that I don’t really wear all the time, but I do wear them when it’s warmer. And my current faves are three really super over-sized jumpers I got from Country Road last winter, but they pill like absolute pilling machines. Glad they were on sale.

Thought I probably should go through ALL my winter clothes, because still can’t go nude even on the weekend.

Saturday is the chores and errands and driving around in circles day. So, I wore my “Mum Uniform”. Dorky af but practical and comfortable. Of course I ran into every man and his dog that I knew. Also, got rained on a lot. I forgot about rain. It’s wet and quite cold. I wore navy blue chinos – sorta heavy ones. Nice and warm. So, why don’t I wear them? Because they are strange. They have a really high waist, which I don’t particularly like, and a sideways seam just below my knee. I also cracked out the long sleeved t-shirts – I used to wear these to work all the time , and bought three (or four) a couple of years ago and they’ve languished in my wardrobe ever since. They’re on the thin side, but they’re fine under a flanno. I’m not trying to impress anyone when I’m at the supermarket!

I have jeans as well – one pair that is slightly too big, and two pairs that are slightly too small. I wear the too big ones mostly. I have to decide whether the too small ones are *really* too small, or just tight because I won’t wear them.

In summary – because we needs one of those…

  • I have quite a lot of clothes.
  • I don’t need any more shirts, even if I cull another five or so.
  • I do need black shoes.
  • I want another pair of mary janes.
  • I would really like another work skirt
  • I prefer cigarette pants to wider legged pants
  • And I mostly like my shirts to fit on the tailored side
  • Cardigans are better for work, because options.

(*ish is well, I’ve always thought I was 179cm tall; however, Chaos has had a wee growth spurt and is visibly taller than me. He reckons he’s only 177cm. One of us is delusional. I suspect it’s me. Once he is firmly in the 180+ territory (probably next Tuesday), I will reclaim my centimetres.)

Kon Maudy – part the second

Weirdly, about a year ago, I found myself in a similar situation to the one I am finding myself now. Contemplating the consequences of public nudity. Again.

I have nothing to fucking wear.

Well, I do. But I HATE IT ALL. Fuck.

Now, because nothing I currently own (particularly in the bottoms department) sparks joy, I should in fact ditch the whole lot and start again. But, the problem with that is simply I seriously cannot afford to replace every single item in my wardrobe.

Up until a couple of years ago, my work wardrobe consisted of a couple of nice skirts, four pairs of Eva Capri pants from Sportscraft – black, navy, silver and a random colour; plus a selection of shirts and cardigans and voila. Dressed every day. No thinking required. I would replace the capri pants every couple of years as they got a bit tired looking, switch out a shirt or two each season… Like clockwork. Then some bastard decided to new and improve them. They did not fit. Not even close. AND the size up was too fucking big. What sort of arsehole designer does that. Sportscraft. Obviously.

Despite Sportscraft bowing down to the wrath of a million angry middle aged ladies, and re-vamping my favourite pants yet again, I sort of cracked the shits with them and am yet to try out the new ones. So, I investigated some options. I now have a wardrobe full of pants that are eh. Ok. Ish. I guess. And I’ve also lost five of the kilograms that were giving me grief twelve months ago. This means that the pants I bought last winter are a tiny bit on the big side. Annoying. Much. Also, none of them were quite what I was looking for in a work pant. Much more annoying. I don’t want much in a trouser – full length, narrowish legs (but not strangle-y) decent pockets that will hold my mobile phone, id card and wallet so I don’t have to take a bag everywhere. Ditto for skirts. Well, the pocket bit, and fitted.

So, here I am. Hating my clothes. I can’t ditch them all because I can’t afford it, and it would be exceedingly wasteful to toss out half a dozen pairs of pants and a heap of shirts because I’ve taken against them. I could like them again next Tuesday. I am in a mood.

That’s another good reason to not throw anything out. Moods I am having. Not sure if it’s the ladypause or just having the shits on in general. However, I am digress. Pants I have some. Likes I have none. So. What to do?

I have decided that I am going to “review” my trousers (and some of my shirts as well) and see whether my feelings are valid or you know. Nuts.

I have tested two outfits:

  • Blue chinos and a cotton striped shirt, grey jumper – verdict. Shirt’s nice. It can stay. Jumper has sauce on it. Bloody bosoms. Pants need a belt. Might be too big. Wore them with my blue Rollies. Not the right shoes for the pants.
  • Charcoal grey pants, white shirt, red jumper. Love the jumper, that’s a no brainer. Pants were pretty comfy, they just skim my ankles, so I’m not sure if they’re too short or too long. Wore them with Mary Janes. The shirt is too long and annoying. I didn’t like it. Also, it was missing a button. I wore the shirt to pilates and my physio suggested a french tuck. Did it with my tights, and it looked ace. Fixed the button and yeah. Try it with different pants.

Tomorrow, I am trialling some blue dress pants, a different white shirt and a red cardigan. And probably Mary Janes.

So far, I’m not getting rid of anything. Only a million more outfits to go.